My name is Li Xiaofan, I am 26 years old this year, and I am an...investigation reporter.

Sorry, I'm a little nervous because I'm not used to introducing myself like this.

Until yesterday, I was just a "Paixin little brother"; perhaps many people don't know what this position is for, so let me put it simply... it is the guy who pushes a cart out of the mailbox every day and distributes folders to the corresponding desks one by one.

Except for the time when the documents were issued, my colleagues usually couldn't even see my shadow; my presence in the company was similar to that of the cleaning aunt. In fact, even the cleaning aunt could scold me... Well, they even dared to scold the chairman, but that was another matter.

I was born in a big city and my family was quite rich when I was a child. I can see it as a little bit in the market.

Unfortunately, when I was in junior high school, my family was in trouble.

That year, my father failed in business and started drinking. Finally, he simply came to the room to evaporate... When I saw him again, it was in the morgue of a hospital in the third year after he ran away from home. The police officer who asked my mother and I to claim the body told us that the cause of his death was drug overdose.

In the three years since my father disappeared, my mother sold all the property in her family to pay off the debt left by her father. In order to allow me to continue to stay in a big city for education, she has been a full-time housewife for more than ten years and has a low level of education, and went out to find a job again.

She served plates in the restaurant for six days a week, working 12 hours a day. The content of the "work meal" never changed to a bowl of rice, and a large plate of fried shredded potatoes for all waiters to share with her; for the rest of the day, she also had to work part-time as a hourly worker, from morning to evening, at least five or six families were going to clean the room, washing clothes and cooking...

Even so, my mother's income can only barely maintain our daily lives and my tuition expenses.

I often advised her that there was no need to work so hard. I could go back to my hometown in the countryside with her, where we didn’t have to rent a house, and could live with my grandparents, and I didn’t mind attending the school there.

But she always told me that this was her life, because she had enjoyed too much blessing in the past ten years, and now God wants her to pay off her debts.

On the day I learned about my father's death, my anger and hatred might be more powerful than sadness. I hate this man who abandoned his wife and children, and he hated him for causing his mother to suffer so much.

But the mother hugged her father's body and cried so hard that she couldn't help herself.

I didn't understand at that time, but many years later I understood... She was crying for the man who loved and cared for her for more than ten years in the past, rather than being sad for the drunkard who ran away from home; she was waiting for the man of that year to come back, but when she saw the body, this expectation completely turned into a bubble.

When I was in my junior year, my mother fell ill.

In fact, she had already become ill after overwork, but she just kept it from me. Seeing that I was almost able to enter society and become independent, she seemed to have let go... Many people are like this, and they are always overdrawing themselves on weekdays. When one day the string that has been tensile is loose, it will suddenly collapse.

My mother never got sick and passed away in just two months.

The blow that my mother's death brought to me was indescribable, but I finally cheered up; life still had to continue, and I didn't want to become a person like my father...

Looking back at college, I was definitely not a person who was good at "studying", so it would not be an exaggeration to call him "small student".

Before junior high school, I had a good family background and had no big problem as a poor student. Anyway, I studied in a private school and could go to a sponsorship fee... At that time, I always felt that as long as I stayed for a few more years, after I finished high school, I would be sent abroad, just find a pheasant university to plaster, and then go back to my own company to continue working and living a life of scrambled.

But later the situation changed, and I quickly became "sensible".

During my high school years, although I entered a public school where I could speak, I was never distracted by anything except studying, such as making friends, having early love, playing games, and going out to play... I didn’t have that kind of time and financial cost at all.

Even the bad boys are not interested in me. In their eyes, I am the kind of proletarian fighter who "not only can't squeeze out a penny, but can still play with you if you are angry, and after playing, you can also extort a few melons from you."

I walk every day when I go to and from school. Whether it is the high temperature of 40 degrees Celsius or the sleet weather, I insist on using this 40-minute journey. This way I can save 88 yuan in bus payments in a month (2 yuan each and go to school 22 times a month) to subsidize the school's food expenses; although my mother and I have a TV in the house, we never turn on it, and even the set-top box is refunded; I always use the IFI from my neighbor's home, and I only turn on my second-hand broken computer when I need to study, and I don't turn on the computer at all at other times... just to save power.

In this way, I was working hard to study all the time except to go to school and help my mother share some housework.

However, I really don’t have the ability to take the exam. Even though I worked so hard, I ended up only being admitted to a fairly dumb university and entered the Chinese department.

Yes, I am aspiring to become a journalist, and I am not even a graduate of the "Journalism Department".

By the way, I asked my classmates in the journalism department about how they were employed? People told me that even if they graduated from the journalism department, less than 10% of them could actually work in the media in the end, and most of them were still involved.

In this way, the second year after my mother passed away, I left university and entered society with a diploma.

Like most college students who have just come out to work, I have arrogance, enthusiasm, innocence, courage and ambition... Then, in less than half a year, these qualities were basically worn out.

Some things that society teaches you are not taught by parents and teachers, they are something that can be described in language but cannot be truly conveyed, and they can only be clear after you experience it yourself.

Society will tell you in its unique way: you are ordinary, you are stupid, you may indeed have some highlights in you... But no one cares except yourself, your understanding of fairness needs to be improved, the trust you give sometimes needs to be paid for, your thoughts are worthless to others before you prove your value, etc.

Generally speaking, the more setbacks you experience, the more opportunities you have to learn.

I gradually became an "adult" I once looked down upon and hated...

When I was 24 years old, after traveling to several companies, wasting a lot of youth and suffering a lot of losses, I finally joined a large enterprise related to publishing and media; I worked carefully, treated people carefully, flattered and criticized each other carefully.

After swallowing my anger for more than a year, I finally got a letter of transfer.

All of this is naturally in my calculations... The leader who transferred me thought that he had slept with my girlfriend, and out of guilt, he met my request.

He transferred me away to calm things down and calm things down; but in fact, the woman he slept with... was not my girlfriend at all.

In this office building, from the manager and the front desk to the cleaning station, no one can like me.

In terms of "hard indicators", I look ordinary, have an ordinary education, and my family is poor; in terms of talent, I can't even speak serious English speaking well, but I learn Chinese well, but overall it shows that I am smooth-mouthed, have extremely poor quality, and are often on the verge of sexual harassment... Who can think of me?

For this incident, I just used a brief plan. I secretly found the girl's mobile phone number and social website nickname, and then used the ps technology that I had learned and studied for many years... Speaking of which, I still used the pirated version of the ps software... I forged several group photos and chat records to deceive the leader, and then threatened to tell his wife about the matter.

Then he naturally panicked.

When he panics, things will be easier.

I promised him, "As long as I can be transferred, I will 'severe from that woman,' I guess 'she won't mention me in front of you'; we have been acting like nothing has happened since then, I don't know you, and you don't know me, anyway, I won't work on the same floor with you after the transfer."

In this way, I transformed from a "Paixin little brother" to an "investigation reporter".

I have to say that today's society is really a "relationship society". Whether you have education or ability, sometimes it is not as important as "whether you have connections".

However, through this experience, I realized that I was not useless.
Chapter completed!