Seeing this, some of Gu Yanqiu's speculations were finally confirmed.

Chen Huaiyu and Gu Huai got married because of Yin's mother. Yin's mother had to break up due to reality. Chen Huaiyu was well aware of her personality. In order to allow her to choose the path she set with peace of mind, she cut off her retreat.

The time when Gu Huai met Chen Huaiyu should have been after they broke up, so he saw Chen Huaiyu so distraught.

So did Gu Huai know about Chen Huaiyu's previous events before getting married? Gu Yanqiu speculated that he had almost certain answers. "Xiaoyu" revealed from Yin's mother's diary is a gentle and decisive person. If he really agreed to the other party's proposal without loving Gu Huai, he would definitely sue him according to the truth and hand over the right to choose to Gu Huai.

Gu Huai knew that Chen Huaiyu had something else to love and wanted to marry her, perhaps because he had a glimmer of hope, but nearly thirty years later, Chen Huaiyu chose to follow his old love.

Many old things and troubles are all voluntary choices. Now it is meaningless to care about who is right and who is wrong.

X-X, 199X

When I got married, I met the young master of the Yin family very early. He treated me very well. If I hadn't met Xiaoyu, it would be nothing wrong with letting me marry him. Today I reread Jin Yong in my spare time and read the scene when Guo Xiang met Yang Guo at Fengling Ferry. I was stunned for a long time. Chen Huaiyu was probably my Yang Guo.

X-X, 199X

The young master of the Yin family knew my secret, and he could not tolerate it, so he ordered me to forget everything about her from now on. From the moment I decided to get married, I did not keep even any of her things except me. But I was determined not to forget her unless I died.

X-X, 199X

I am pregnant and will have a child. I am very happy that a new little life is about to come to this world, which may help me relieve myself in my bone-broken longing.

Sometimes I think that it would be great if this was my and Xiaoyu’s child, but it doesn’t matter. I will treat her as our children to love her.

I thought of her name, Lingxi.

The two flying wings of the phoenix without colorful body are in harmony with each other.

I hope God can bring my thoughts to her.

No, I'd better not.

We all deserve to have their own lives.

X-X, 199X

There is no news of old friends coming from afar. I hope you can forget me.

X-X, 199X

Lingxi was born.

X-X, 199X

Happy birthday, Xiaoyu.

X-X, 199X

Lingxi is very fast, very smart, and can speak. The first sentence she shouts is "Mom"... Is it not good to write these in my diary? I put away this book and opened it again. I don't know when it was time and month.

X-X, 199X

Just one month later, I couldn't help but talk again. For some reason, I wrote these diaries as if you were still by my side. I feel very happy and hope you will live as well as me.

...

X-X, 199X

I surrendered first. After five years, I found out that your husband was named Gu Huai and he had a lovely daughter, so I felt relieved.

X/X, 200X

haven't seen you for a long time.

Today I read this collection of love books and remembered you. Hello, Chen Huaiyu. Actually, I haven’t stopped missing you in the past few years, but I have learned to restrain myself and turn those thoughts into secrets that only I know.

X-X, 201X

Time flies so fast, Xiaoyu.

Today, I looked in the mirror and found that I had white hair. I was only in my forties and had white hair.

I used to say that we should live to be 80 years old together, be healthy, safe and smooth. Now, are we going to grow old in advance?

Just kidding, I hope you can live to eighty.

Will we see each other again?

Gu Yanqiu's eyes were slightly astringent. He turned over this page and continued to go backwards. He turned another page, but it was still blank.

Yin Lingxi pinched the bridge of her nose and whispered: "This is the last article."

Gu Yanqiu sighed.

Neither of them lived to be eighty, nor did they see each other again.

According to the diary, the two of them had no intersection in their lives after marriage. Only in the fifth year after marriage, Yin's mother couldn't help but find out what Chen Huaiyu is doing now.

Gu Yanqiu returned the diary to Yin Lingxi: "Thank you."

"Nothing." Yin Lingxi tried to make some jokes and liven up the atmosphere. "In a sense, we are both sick and sympathetic."

Gu Yanqiu smiled lightly, but his eyebrows and eyes were a little heavy.

The past is too heavy. Until today, she has seen a trace of Chen Huaiyu's original appearance from the information she obtained, and slowly pieced together a vivid and complete person.

She couldn't resent Chen Huaiyu. If time went back ten or eight years, Gu Yanqiu might feel that Chen Huaiyu, the mother's incompetence, did not love her, why did she give birth to her? But now, she couldn't hate her anyway. If there was no fate in the past, what kind of style would she have, instead of being with the ancient Buddha in the green lamp like now, and spending the rest of her life.

"Where is your mother buried?" Gu Yanqiu asked Yin Lingxi.

Yin Lingxi was stunned for a moment, and reported an address, which was a cemetery in City S, and asked again: "What?"

Gu Yanqiu said: "I want to go and see her, and look at her for me...mother."

Yin Lingxi knew: "When will you have time?"

Gu Yanqiu said: "Next weekend?"

Yin Lingxi said, "Okay, I happen to be at home. When you come here, call me and I'll pick you up."

Gu Yanqiu said: "Isn't this good?"

Yin Lingxi smiled and said, "There is nothing wrong. You have the best friend of the landlord. You have been here several times and have exchanged courtesy."

Gu Yanqiu refused and agreed. She remembered Lin Yuewei outside. Lin Yuewei knew that she was going to S City to pay homage, so she had to make trouble again. After a moment of consideration, she gave Yin Lingxi a vaccination in advance: "I may bring a family member."

Yin Lingxi smiled deeper: "Okay."

After talking about this, he got up and prepared to say goodbye. Yin Lingxi called someone to settle the bill. The two separated at the door. Gu Yanqiu turned back and picked up Lin Yuewei who was "eating" the cup at the elegant seat.

In public, Lin Yuewei suppressed the jealousy and went back to do some fun. Then she asked what the two of them had mentioned tonight.

Gu Yanqiu told her the content of the diary.

Lin Yuewei finished listening and didn't speak for a long time.

Gu Yanqiu asked: "If you were Yin Lingxi's mother, what would you do?"

Lin Yuewei thought for a while and said, "I don't know. Where are you?"

Gu Yanqiu leaned into her arms, playing with her hair with her hands, and said, "I don't know either."

There is no real empathy in the world. From Yin's mother's notes and Yin Lingxi's narrative, Yin's mother is a lady trained by a high-ranking family. She is filial to her daughter and makes her calmly admit that she is with Shen Huaiyu. She has to make a choice from family and love, and no one can say that she has done something wrong.

"I want to go to S City next week to worship Yin Lingxi's mother. Do you want to be with me?" Gu Yanqiu didn't want to think about this sad topic anymore.

"Me? Why should I take me with me?"

"If you don't go, I'm afraid that the jealousy at home will go from Yanningyan to S City."

"..." Lin Yuewei opened her eyes and said lying, "No, I'm very generous."

The tone of Gu Yanqiu's poem recitation was exaggerated: "You are too generous."

"You're hurting me?"

"I don't."

"Gu Yanqiu, do you dare to harm me now?"

"I really didn't, all I said was true."

"Stop it!"

"I didn't run away."

Lin Yuewei pressed Gu Yanqiu on the sofa, making her pay the price she should have made to make fun of her.

After finishing, I went upstairs to take a shower. The emotional problem was solved. The rational discussion was about to begin. There was still no sufficient answer to why Gu Huai tried his best to hide it. Chen Huaiyu had an ex-girlfriend, and after Gu Yanqiu was born, she did not love her daughter like Yin's mother. To sum up, it was just one sentence. Gu Huai didn't want Gu Yanqiu to know that this family was an illusion. Is this enough?

Lin Yuewei thinks it is not enough anyway. Gu Yanqiu is an adult and same-sex marriage is legal. Isn’t it just that there is no maternal love? It’s worth his efforts?

"Your dad must be hiding something else." Lin Yuewei said, "Did you notice the letter he wrote to you last time? He said that no matter how your mother is, he loves you. He knows that you have found a lot, and even knows that you have contacted Yin Lingxi, but has he reacted other than this letter?"

Gu Yanqiu shook his head: "No."

Lin Yuewei held his chin: "If you find out the whole truth, according to the basic routine, he should talk to you in depth, instead of just writing a letter, are you afraid that you will let it go, or are you afraid that you will see through something else?"

Gu Yanqiu added: "There are also the words Gu Feiquan once said to me, but now there is no answer."

It’s been too long since Lin Yuewei can’t remember clearly: “What did he say?”

"That's what I said when my relationship with him was not very good." Gu Yanqiu recalled, "He said that when my mother and my father got married, he was already born. With He Songjun's courage, why did she dare to have this child before marriage and resolutely give birth to this child, and have she ever gone to see my father after giving birth to this child? Did my mother know that Gu Feiquan existed before getting married? My father said that he had broken up with He Songjun when he was pursuing my mother. Did he really break up?" Since he was about to break up, everyone suspected that no one was a good person.
To be continued...