Lingering

The sputum suction tube is several millimeters in diameter and slightly hard in texture. It is inserted from the mouth to the pharynx.

The moment the sputum suction tube touched the mucosa of the nasopharynx, "I" suddenly started to cough hard as a conditioned reflex. Countless secretions seemed to pour out at the same time, overflowing from the nasal cavity and eyes, which was extremely uncomfortable.

The suction tube made a beeping sound, and Ji Xiang also knew that this was the negative pressure suction sucking away the accumulated liquid in the respiratory tract, so that he could breathe easier.

That's what he said, but the stimulation caused by the suction tube entering the airway was extremely strong. Ji Xiang could not feel any pleasure of breathing smoothly, and instead entered a kind of near-death feeling.

The sense of impending death made "myself" limbs twitch, and I tried my best to stop the nurse from suctioning sputum.

Ji Xiang never thought that he had experienced so much, but a small suction of phlegm would make him miserable.

The pain is no less severe than other illnesses.

"Hold the person down," the nurse said.

Ji Xiang was a little sad.

What the nurse said has been said by me, and even if I have experienced it, I will probably say it again next time I encounter a similar situation.

But "oneself" is really uncomfortable, and there is a sharp contradiction between treating the disease and making the patient feel more comfortable.

Her daughter immediately held down her upper limbs and said in a tearful tone, "Dad, just be patient and suck out the phlegm."

The suction tube is then inserted deeper and directly into the airway through the nasopharynx.

The suction tube that was originally only slightly hard turned into a wooden stick in his "own" feeling. Ji Xiang felt that his airway was occupied by the wooden stick, and he could not breathe in any fresh air.

And the wooden stick continued to suck the air away due to the negative pressure, making myself even more uncomfortable.

This is not about saving yourself!

Ji Xiang felt that he was already hypoxic and his mind went blank. Although logically there should be no signs of hypoxia in such a short period of time, this was the real feeling.

The sound of sucking phlegm kept coming, and "my" upper body was being held down. I tried my best to avoid it but couldn't.

Fortunately, the time does not last long. After about 20 seconds, the breathing and sputum suctioning is completed, and the saline water is sucked into the tube to flush out the phlegm in the sputum suction tube to avoid clogging.

"There is too much phlegm, please be careful to tap on your back more." The nurse was very attentive. She repeatedly taught "her" daughter how to turn over, tap on her back, and expel phlegm.

Although these operations are done at home, my daughter still listens patiently and asks about the technical details.

Ji Xiang knew that "his" daughter loved him, and she was reluctant to leave like this.

When parents are here, home is still there. If parents are gone, home is gone.

In this journey of life, parents are very important coordinates.

But "I" really don't want to be a coordinate anymore.

Not only does he feel the same way, but if he needs to suffer like this to survive in reality, Ji Xiang would rather give up.

At this moment, Ji Xiang had no intention of worrying about where the pneumonia came from. He just kept thinking about how quickly he could leave this world if the consumption was serious.

His daughter's attachment to him and her efforts to stay in this "hateful" world are like torture.

Ji Xiang wanted to tell her that he felt very uncomfortable, but his current strength simply could not sustain a conversation.

He was like a fish thrown to the shore, breathing hard and gathering strength to prepare to say goodbye to his daughter.

But "I" still think too optimistically.

Less than half an hour later, the nurse came again, this time with a nasogastric feeding tube.

Put a gastric tube in and put liquid food into the stomach... Ji Xiang knew what was going to happen next, but he couldn't accept it even though he knew everything.

A tube that is slightly softer but slightly thicker than the suction tube is inserted through the nose.

Even though it was very soft, "he" felt very uncomfortable. Especially when the gastric tube passed through the oropharynx, the nurse and his daughter kept shouting in his ears to swallow it. Ji Xiang really didn't want to continue.

But even if Ji Xiang didn't want to, the gastric tube was still inserted.

Every time he swallowed saliva, the gastric tube would rub against the mucous membrane of the pharynx, which made Ji Xiang feel quite uncomfortable.

He remembered a story told by a senior brother during his internship - a patient with esophageal cancer could not tolerate a gastric tube after surgery. After all, there was a tube in the pharynx, which caused irritation with the swallowing movement, making the patient feel uncomfortable.

The patient removed the gastric tube on his own at night.

Because we had just completed an operation for esophageal cancer, if the gastric tube was inserted, it might cause anastomotic leak. Doctors and nurses did not dare to insert it any more, so they could only explain it to the patient and the patient's family.

At this time, the patient realizes that he is scared, begging, and wants to live.

But the conditions at that time were limited and there was no other way. The doctors and nurses were helpless and could only resign themselves to fate.

In the end, the patient was lucky, and he was given a pennant on the day he was discharged from the hospital.

Ji Xiang still remembers what the senior brother laughed at the patient - if he had known what he was doing today, why would he have done it in the first place?

However, after experiencing it personally, Ji Xiang realized that gastric tube insertion was really uncomfortable. Although it did not exceed his pain tolerance threshold, this feeling was different from the previous illness.

Whether it was stones, fractures, or other diseases, when Ji Xiang felt the same way, he couldn't wait to see the doctor, and to see Professor Zhou.

However, the current situation is not something even Professor Zhou can do if he comes, and Ji Xiang knows this very well.

"I" is already dying, and no amount of external force can only delay it for a while, but cannot completely restore "myself" to health.

The key is - the longer this last period of time drags on, the more "you" will suffer.

This kind of day has no end, and Ji Xiang is lost in empathy for the first time.

One word appeared in Ji Xiang's mind - lingering.

He completely forgot the purpose of his visit. It didn't matter how he got pneumonia. He only cared about how "he" didn't get it.

I still remember when I was in school, my teacher said that Mr. Ba Jin was in great pain before he died. People around him told him that everyone who loved him wanted him to live.

For this reason, Ba Jin had to brace himself and said that no matter how painful it was, he would still cooperate with the treatment.

But the great pain caused Ba Jin to mention euthanasia many times. After being rejected, he got angry with his family and said they didn't respect him.

Mr. Ba Jin even said such words as "I live for you" and "longevity is torture to me".

Ji Xiang couldn't understand what the teacher said during class, but now he gradually understands, not only the words, but also why Mr. Ba Jin said what he said.

The pain continues, and life is worse than death.

The damn gastric tube delivers nutrients every day, plus intravenous infusion. Ji Xiang feels that "he" has no chance of dying quickly in a short time.

This has turned into a nightmare, so deep that "I" have nowhere to escape.

The final outcome has been determined - death.

What about before death? Do you have to suffer like this? Jixiang doesn't want to.
Chapter completed!