As he strides into the attic where he lives alone, Zhao Yan's steps suddenly slowed down, lowered his eyes, pursed his lips and walked to the edge of the bed step by step, covering his face with his hands and sitting on his low wooden bed.

After a while, he took his hands away from his face, leaned back, and Zhao Yan fell weakly on the bed.

In the past 17 years of his life, he has never been as confused as he is today.

The confusion about the future made him feel powerless.

His spirit is indeed very high, and he longs to be attentive to the public, to be rich all over the world, and even more eager to be with Xiao Mengyue in this life. If he can be with Xiao Mengyue, he will feel that he will have no regrets in this life.

but……

Zhao Yan stared at the wooden top of the attic in a confused manner, feeling mixed feelings. What his aunt said on the dinner table just now seemed to be echoing in his ears. What else could he do besides going to a technical school, joining the army, or becoming a chef?

Using his Bajiquan to be a security guard or a bodyguard?

Zhao Yan asked himself that he could not do anything like a human being, nor could he do it to anyone who is determined to follow his orders.

...

In confusion, Zhao Yan recalled another past three years ago, which was related to Xiao Mengyue and his dream.

It was an afternoon in winter. After lunch, Zhao Yan excitedly rode his bicycle and took a novel he had already read to the bookstore near the school - Xingxing Bookstore.

"Boss! Return the book!"

Zhao Yan happily put the martial arts book he had read on the cashier's desk. Zhao Yan still remembered that it was Long Yin's "The Disciples of Changkong".

At that time, the owner asked him as usual: "Do you still rent it?"

Zhao Yan blurted out: "Rent! Of course, rent!"

Looking back, I was about to go to the bookshelf of "The Disciples of Changkong". When I turned around, I happened to see Xiao Mengyue's smiling face. Xiao Mengyue was looking at him with a smile, next to the bookshelf of English materials.

Zhao Yan, who was completely unprepared to see her, scratched her head a little embarrassedly, nodded to Xiao Mengyue, and greeted: "You, you are here too!"

By then, they had already met.

"Well, are you here to rent a book?"

Xiao Mengyue responded with a smile, but Zhao Yan was even more embarrassed because he could see that Xiao Mengyue was purchasing English tutoring books, while he came here to rent martial arts novels.

"Then you rent it! I'll invite you to have coffee when you rent it! I'll thank you for your help!"

Xiao Mengyue was still smiling. The help she said was naturally Lu Yang who had helped her drive away two suitors who had been pestering her before that day.

Zhao Yan wanted to refuse, but the boy's self-esteem made him subconsciously unwilling to be treated to by Xiao Mengyue, but he didn't have enough money to treat her.

However, he was reluctant to let go of this opportunity to get in touch with Xiao Mengyue at close range.

When he was young, he had a girl he liked for the first time, so he naturally cherished every opportunity to get close to the other party.

So although Zhao Yan had a slightly feverish face that day, after taking another book "The Disciples of Changkong", he went to the next coffee shop with Xiao Mengyue.

Fengling Coffee, Zhao Yan always remembers the name of the coffee house. Every time he passes by, his heart feels warm.

That day, Xiao Mengyue ordered a cappuccino himself and asked him with a smile whether he wanted a cappuccino or a latte?

Zhao Yan, who was less than 15 years old at that time, had coffee? Although he had a small breakfast shop, his sister and sister were not having a good time with him.

Zhao Yan, who had no idea about coffee at all, certainly did not want to expose this in front of Xiao Mengyue, and thought to himself: The name latte is more tough and should be suitable for men to drink, so he said latte.

When the coffee was served, Zhao Yan almost vomited it out after taking the first sip. It turned out that the latte was so bitter.

The above are not the focus!

Zhao Yan, who was dating Xiao Mengyue for the first time, was embarrassed, even though he was trying hard to pretend to be sophisticated.

On that date, Xiao Mengyue looked at Zhao Yan's "The Disciple" with a smile, and asked him a question like a friend chatting.

Zhao Yan still remembers every word of her words, her tone at that time, and her smile at that time.

Xiao Mengyue asked at the time: "Zhao Yan! What are your plans for the future? What do you want to do in the future?"

At that time, Zhao Yan saw only some curiosity in Xiao Mengyue's eyes.

Xiao Mengyue's eyes were so clear that any trace of emotion that was so clear that she could clearly show. A long time later, Zhao Yan saw a description of the heroine's eyes in a fairy tale book, and then he realized that Xiao Mengyue's eyes were the kind of eyes that seemed to be able to talk.

"What do you want to do in the future?"

Zhao Yan was a little confused at that time.

Before that, many people asked him similar questions, such as when he was in elementary school, the teacher asked them what ideals they all had? What kind of person do they want to become when they grew up?

For example, his mother once asked him a little while ago that he wanted to be a scientist or a general in the future?

Zhao Yan told his primary school teacher that he would become a scientist when he grew up, and let his mother go astray - he would become a general in the future!

However, he knew in his heart that those were all he said casually.

Facing Xiao Mengyue's clear eyes, Zhao Yan, who had always been talking about the train, suddenly discovered those lies that should be told casually, and he couldn't say them.

He didn't want to lie to Xiao Mengyue.

But he really has no ideals.

what to do?

Zhao Yan's eyes accidentally swept over the "Disciples of Changkong" at hand, and suddenly his eyes lit up. He happily told Xiao Mengyue that he would become a writer in the future and write novels like Long Yin.

Xiao Mengyue seemed to believe it, but she didn't. Her smile was still sweet, and she also encouraged Zhao Yan a few words, so that he would never forget his original dream and persevere.

...

At this time, Zhao Yan was lying alone on the low bed in the attic, recalling the past of winter that year, recalling Xiao Mengyue's smile that day, and the ideal she told her, Zhao Yan suddenly felt sour and felt like she wanted to cry.

There was a voice in his heart telling him: "So what if you become a writer? So what if you realize that ideal? You can never afford a Black Panther Phantom! You will never be worthy of Xiao Mengyue!"

The Buddhist scriptures say: There are six sufferings in life. One of them is "not seeking".

Zhao Yan suddenly realized that he would never be able to get along with Xiao Mengyue, which was exactly what the Buddhist scriptures said about "no seeking". This made him feel very sad.

"A Yan! You have such a big appetite, and it will definitely not work if you only eat a few bites of lunch! You can eat more!"

Zhao Yan's sadness was suddenly interrupted by his elder sister's voice. When he turned around, he found that the elder sister came to his attic with a large bowl of food.

"Sister! I'm not hungry!"

Zhao Yan said subconsciously.

Zhao Ru sighed lightly, brought the food to Zhao Yan, sat down on the edge of Zhao Yan's bed, touched Zhao Yan's short hair pity, and comforted him: "A Yan! Don't think about it all! A man is a real man, don't be afraid of anything! No matter what you want to do, I support you! Come! Be obedient! Eat this bowl of rice! My sister watches you eat."

(Thanks to Shen Yuanzhi, "Zheng" is being updated..., Xingyao, Daofeng, Changzhou Shunheng snack food wholesale and distribution, Wuhenge, Xie Shao rewarded 10 points, thanks to the Red House, Wangyue, who killed Jiujiu, Li family Baiding, the handsome Wenhao rewarded 100 points, tianxiawumin rewarded 110 points, Tianyi* rewarded 10168 points again, becoming the first guardian of this book! Thank you for your support!)
Chapter completed!